


Absent

by witchchester



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Ben Possessing Klaus, Consent, Consent Issues, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Possession, Self-Hatred, Spoilers, season two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25658179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchchester/pseuds/witchchester
Summary: He knew letting Ben possess him was a risk. Neither of them knew what the consequences would be. When his sibling tried to take control earlier in the week, his body went through something similar to a seizure. As ridiculous as it probably made him look, it hurt. He was wiped out for the rest of the night.Klaus just… couldn’t say no. He had a feeling that if he did, Ben really would take over while he was asleep. That uncertainty caused too much anxiety.—Or the one where Klaus has to physically expel Ben out of his body, but nobody cares enough to ask him if he's okay (and he's not okay).
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 31
Kudos: 545
Collections: One-Shot Goldmine





	Absent

**Author's Note:**

> Big spoilers up ahead.
> 
> Yesterday, I binge-watched all of S2. I couldn't get Ben possessing Klaus out of my head. In both seasons, Klaus had issues with consent + touching. Dealing with his brother taking over his body without permission + having his accidental cult constantly overstepping would have to take a toll.
> 
> Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.
> 
> **TW: Referenced/Implied Sex Work, R/I Drug + Alcohol Addiction, Issues with Consent**

The first thing Klaus became aware of was the pain ripping through his stomach. 

It wasn’t like anything he’d ever experienced before. He didn’t know how it was possible, but his intestines felt out of place. Almost like they weren’t his anymore.

Like maybe they were _never_ just his.

His vision swam as he tumbled onto his knees. His burning throat and the disgusting puddle of vomit told him he’d gotten sick, but he didn’t have any memory of it. Something about that made him feel worse.

Bits of gravel dug into his knees, and it would’ve been comforting if is his knees were still his.

He was a stranger in his own body. It had gone through things he wasn’t present for. Things he couldn’t consent to. Somebody else **—** Ben, his _brother_ **—** had been in control. He had permission, but Klaus’s skin still felt unfamiliar to him.

His legs buckled, sending him crashing onto his back. Luther and Five didn’t pay him any attention. His discomfort didn’t bother them. They were in their own little world and like always, Klaus wasn’t invited.

As his head hit the ground, he squeezed his eyes shut. His skull didn’t seem to fit anymore. Twenty-two bones were painfully pressing against his head, trying to break free. No amount of whimpering and moaning made it stop.

He knew letting Ben possess him was a risk. Neither of them knew what the consequences would be. When his sibling tried to take control earlier in the week, his body went through something similar to a seizure. As ridiculous as it probably made him look, it _hurt_. He was wiped out for the rest of the night.

Klaus just… couldn’t say no. He had a feeling that if he did, Ben really would take over while he was asleep. That uncertainty caused too much anxiety. If it had to happen, he needed it to be on his terms.

Plus, his brother had done so much for him over the years. The least he could do was put his distress aside so Ben could feel the world again.

While his sibling possessed him, Klaus was locked up inside his mind. It was a dreadful place to be. He was kept in the dark for most of what went on, but he could feel everything. His hands were touching things he couldn’t see. His voice was talking to people he couldn’t hear. Then suddenly, he could feel kisses being placed all over him, and he couldn’t handle it anymore.

He’d been in a lot of situations where someone stopped him from making his own choices. They were painful memories and they just kept replaying, over and over and so _vividly_. He was entirely overwhelmed, but he couldn’t run away. He couldn’t do anything.

Desperate to distance himself, Klaus tried to kick Ben out. He put every ounce of his energy into it, but he wasn’t strong enough. His nerves started getting the best of him and for a little while, he wondered if maybe Ben would never leave. What if he was stuck inside himself forever? Klaus couldn’t handle thirty minutes, let alone a lifetime. He needed _out_.

Their fight became a blur of pulling and pleas. When they got to the alley, the sight of Five and Luther was the extra push Klaus needed. While Ben exited his body, he was nowhere. Stuck in an agonizing in-between until he was alone again.

As he rolled onto his side, Five drastically rose the volume of his voice. For a second, Klaus was sure he was going to be sick again. He forced himself to sit up, his hands shakily resting against his head. “Could you just moan a little softer? My head is killing me.”

Five stepped closer and called him a useless puke bag. His ears rang. They didn’t understand that just a short minute ago, Ben was the one in charge. Klaus had no idea what was going on. He didn’t know what they were expecting of him, so how could he possibly do what they wanted?

If they’d just asked if he was okay, he would’ve told them everything. He would’ve explained, but Klaus knew they didn’t care that much. He’d failed them too many times.

Something behind him made a horrifically recognizable sound. Memories of blasting into Vietnam surfaced as he turned. Five’s fingers were tightly wound around the handle of a briefcase. Was that supposed to be their ticket home? He flinched when the item was flung into the air, disappearing into a dark blue vortex.

Five and Luther made new plans. Klaus ran on autopilot and agreed to find Allison. He wasn’t sure if he could physically stand, but he could hear the disappointment in their voices. They were upset and Klaus wanted to help, even if they weren’t willing to help him.

He took a deep breath, his hands ghosting near his chest and stomach as his family left. His limbs wouldn’t stop trembling. Klaus couldn’t tell if it was from his leftover panic or the continuing nausea.

Would Ben try to possess him again? If he got sober, would other ghosts be able to take over? He was used to being used, but this was a whole new level of violation. One he definitely couldn’t tolerate. Klaus never wanted to go through it again.

Slowly, he stumbled onto his feet. He twisted to face Ben, who was still sitting in silence. Frustration and hurt bubbled up in Klaus’s chest as he pointed at him. “And you—You’ve had your possession privileges revoked!”

His mind jumped back to the mystery kisses he was forced to endure. They were probably from Jill. Somehow, he could still feel them.

As he moved to walk away, he could hear Ben whisper “I regret nothing.” Klaus almost gagged. Ben knew him better than anyone else. He knew Klaus had a thing about being touched, so how could he think what happened was okay?

If Diego hadn’t shown up, he and Jill might’ve…

His legs wouldn’t work right. They were wobbly and unsteady. If he wasn’t put in charge of finding Allison, he would’ve walked straight into a liquor store. Drinking and taking pills were the only coping mechanisms he knew.

“Just stay out of me!” His voice didn’t even sound right to him. It was always meant to be his body, his choice. When had that rule slipped away? Was it when the ghosts began appearing, all desperate to touch him and get his attention? Was it when he ran out of money and started paying for drugs through sex? Or was it when his cult decided he was theirs to play with?

“I regret nothing,” Ben repeated, a little more power behind his voice. If Klaus wasn’t on the brink of passing out, he would’ve attempted to make him corporeal just long enough to punch him. Not even his family was willing to respect his boundaries.

He briefly spun around again, but Klaus could only look at Ben for a moment before shifting his eyes. “Back off!” Was this all he was ever going to be? Someone else’s toy?

When he got to the end of the alley, he fell back onto his knees. He wasn’t built to deal with all this trauma. He could feel himself slowly breaking apart, and Klaus was scared he’d never be able to put himself together.

With a small gasp that sounded too much like a sob, Klaus let himself shrink for just a moment. He protectively pressed his arms over his chest **—** one over the other **—** as a few desperate tears raced down his cheeks.

A small part of him hoped Ben would walk over and say _something_ , but he never came any closer.


End file.
